![]() The manager of a counselling centre with which I am associated recounted a couple of days before her mother died that her mother repeatedly called out, 'I'm coming! I'm coming!' to a blank wall. This provided immense comfort to her aunt. Let me give a few examples which have come to light in the course of the research I have been doing:Ī work colleague told me that her aunt talked of seeing and smelling flowers just before she died. They inspire what I would describe as 'awe' in those who talk about them. They are witnessed by people from all walks of life and in all kinds of situations. Irrespective of sceptical comment, deathbed phenomena happen. There’s not a doubt in my mind that she was wanting confirmation that he was going to be ok before she let go.Our deathbed research project is in answer to a plea from palliative carers who want to understand how they can provide better support for patients during the dying process. I left the following morning and she passed before I made it home. I held her hand everytime she woke up and talked to her about how we were going to take care of him once she was gone. It took me a little while to finally come to the idea that she was worried about her son. My grandmother couldn’t hardly speak at all toward the end and when I showed up that evening to relieve my aunt she said that my grandmother had been mumbling all day with great concern and couldn’t get comfortable.Later that night when she woke up while I was there, and the mumbling and concern picked right back up. She was completely exhausted from weeks of caring for my grandmother. My mom had the following night with her in the hospital so I told her I was already on nights I would just go home and sleep all day and take her Night Shift so she could get some rest. I was working nights and had just worked off that morning. He has always lived at home with my grandparents. She has a son that has been completely blind since 10yo and she had been his sole caregiver his whole life. My grandmother was in the hospital on her deathbed suffering from the last stages of ALS. ![]() As I said, I'm still disturbed by it today, 18 years later. He squeezed my hand the entire time and then just began to fade away until he was gone.įor that minute or two or three, I am convinced he knew what was going on and that he was fighting it. As they were shutting all the machines down, my uncle started getting tensed up, sort of moving and flexing, as if he was fighting to stay alive.or to desperately trying to communicate something ("Don't do this, you're killing me!"). While we were there, his son, my cousin, made the decision to "pull the plug." I stayed with my uncle during this process and held his hand, talking to him the entire time. After he'd been there a few days, I was told to go see him immediately because it wasn't looking good, so I went with a group of family members. He got so bad, that they shipped him to a big city hospital in Hartford, but he kept getting worse. He had gone into the local hospital a week or so earlier for something (I forgot what, but it wasn't life threatening, think it was digestive related) and while he was there, he got a bug and it was kicking his ass. One of the more disturbing things I've experienced was visiting an uncle of mine in the hospital.
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